March 12th, 2025, 10:30 a.m.
In the West Library, Claudine Myles has been spotted announcing finding the cure to the zombie outbreak through a vaccine. We advise individuals to stay away from the PUMC, specifically the second floor, as there may be an occurrence disturbing the area. Details are developing.
A press conference will be held at 11:15 a.m.
Faux Wesleyan Crisis Public Relations 